Leadership Priorities For 2022: Five Essential Skills That Make Up Relational Intelligence
Compassion is about impacting people through
communication, social awareness, and what I call
“relational intelligence.” Relational intelligence is
the ability to successfully connect with people and
build strong, long-lasting relationships. When put
into practice, it enables leaders to effectively engage
and interact with people from different backgrounds,
cultures, and experiences. It helps managers
understand and appreciate the different interests,
values, and beliefs of their people. It creates
cultures where employees gain empathy for, and an
understanding of, people who are different from one
another.
Relational intelligence is more than just possessing
good social skills or EQ. EQ is about having the
self-awareness to understand one’s emotions, the
emotions of others, and knowing how to effectively
manage emotions. EQ plays a role in understanding
other people, but it is not the only factor when
it comes to building successful relationships.
Relational intelligence is also more than being
charismatic, extroverted and outgoing, or being
politically savvy. It is not a personality trait or
disposition. It is not something that you are born
with. Relational intelligence is a set of skills that
anyone can learn, develop, and refine over time.
There are five essential skills that make up relational
intelligence. These skills build upon one another as
you become more involved with other people and
form lasting relationships.
1. Establishing Rapport
Establishing rapport allows people to create an
initial connection. It sets the stage for two people to
develop an affinity and appreciation for each other.
It can be instantaneous or developed over a short
period of time. It’s based on two critical factors –
enjoyable interactions and personal connections.
There are various factors at play when establishing
rapport with people. Some of these include: the
choice of words you use, perceptions of different
types of people, non-verbal cues and body language,
your own self-perceptions, the use of humor, and
unconscious biases. Relationally intelligent people
who are skilled at establishing rapport know how to
make others feel important and understood.
2. Understanding Others
Building strong relationships is a process. It
doesn’t happen overnight. You must invest time,
energy, and commitment to make a relationship
grow. Understanding others is critical to relational
intelligence because it allows leaders to identify
the things that are most important to others. The
foundation of understanding others comes from
a strong sense of self-awareness and EQ. Active
listening also plays an enormous role in how you
build relationships with people. It is an acquired skill.
It is about being curious and inquisitive. You have
to ask questions and draw information out from
others. Relationally intelligent leaders know how to
ask deep probing questions. They show empathy
and relatability. They are intentional about putting in
time and effort to learn about others. They know that
understanding others is a continuous process that
takes place over time.
3. Embracing Individual Differences
Our differences are what make each of us unique.
Leaders who are experienced at accepting peoples’
differences possess higher levels of social skills and
are more effective communicators. You cannot build
sustainable, long-term relationships without this skill.
Leadership Excellence presented by HR.com JANUARY 2022 25 Submit Your Articles
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